Now That It’s Over

Brooke Paz Blog

“Now that it’s over, I just wanna hold her. I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me. Now that it’s over, I just wanna hold her. I gotta live with the choices I made and I can’t live with myself today.”
-Lucy, Skillet

Today is National Remembrance for Aborted Children – a day that is recognized in honor of the children lost to abortion. Babies in the womb are the most innocent and vulnerable population in today’s society. When “unwanted,” babies’ lives are treated as inconvenient, disposable, and often “the end of the world.”

However, we know that abortion also harms the child’s mother and everyone she is close with. Men and women alike often look for a “quick fix” when faced with an unplanned or crisis pregnancy. They try to “get rid of the problem” with a “medical procedure.” They are not told about the reality of the situation – of the life being intentionally killed and how that decision will haunt the parents forever. We grieve for the lives lost and the lives forever altered by abortion.

Recently, I rediscovered a song that I grew to love during my “Christian rock” phase in high school. (A phase that probably isn’t over if I’m being honest.)

On Skillet’s 2009 album Awake there is a song that’s pretty unique for the Christian symphonic rock, post-grunge band. It’s a ballad called “Lucy.” Writer and lead singer John Cooper refrained from explaining the meaning of this song for a long time, not wanting to disturb the various personal meanings that fans took from it.

But I always knew what it was about – abortion.

Cooper finally revealed the meaning of this song publicly in November of 2010. During a concert at the Target Center in Minneapolis, he said the following…

“…this week is the very first time that I’ve ever told what this song is about, because, uh, it’s very special to me, but I feel like it’s time to talk about it a little bit, so listen up while I tell you a story about a young girl and a young guy who found themselves in a hard situation. They didn’t know what to do when they found out that she was pregnant; they were young, they didn’t have any money, they were scared, they didn’t want to tell anybody, they didn’t know what to do, and the only option that they could see was to terminate the pregnancy. So that’s what they decided to do… they went to a clinic, they had the procedure done, and at first they felt relieved that all their problems had gone away. But then something happened that they did not expect… and that’s over the next few weeks, which turned into a few months, they began to feel an intense sadness… and a pain and an agony and a guilt that wouldn’t go away. They didn’t know what to do, so they finally went to see a counselor; they said look — tell us what to do, we just don’t know, and the counselor made a suggestion. The counselor said here’s what you need to do — stop acting like you had a procedure, and act like you’ve had a death in the family. So the couple went home and they made three decisions; number one, they decided to have a funeral service for the baby; number two, they bought a tiny little headstone; and they last decision to make was what to name the baby. After a couple weeks they finally decided they would call her… Lucy.”

Since then, John has talked more about the song, saying, “It’s very personal to me” because it’s based on a true story. In an interview, he said, “When I was writing the song, I felt it was one of the most important songs we’ve ever written and I don’t think the song has reached its full potential… It’s not about me. It’s based on a story that I read about a young high school couple who had gotten pregnant. They didn’t know what to do, so they decided to terminate the pregnancy. After that – and we’re seeing these stories throughout the whole world, not just in America – these women are saying that nobody ever told them the traumatic effects that their abortion would have on them. Many women who have had abortions and are going through emotional trauma months and years after they’ve had an abortion, who are depressed and suicidal, are counseled to have funeral services for the aborted child and name the child…”

As I stumbled upon this song again for the first time in years, I found myself in tears, playing it over and over again. And hearing the backstory makes it all the more real… because it is REAL. This really happens every single day. Men and women may feel regret the second after their abortion or decades later. Either way, that pain, guilt, shame, anxiety, confusion, and anger can become all-consuming. And even though I’ve never personally experienced the pain of making the tragic mistake of aborting a child, I can’t help but truly FEEL the agony and regret through the words of this song.

It’s a message that too many men and women are barred from hearing. Modern feminism tells women that abortion is “empowering” and “a woman’s right.” Abortion clinics won’t allow her to look at the ultrasound for fear that seeing her baby’s humanity will change her mind. Society insists that the “embryo” inside of the womb is a parasitic clump of cells that’s not alive and is not a baby. Planned Parenthood’s former president, Leana Wen, calls abortion a “standard medical procedure.” Even families tell their children, “If you get pregnant, I’ll kick you out and never speak to you again.”

No wonder women are terrified when faced with a crisis pregnancy. No wonder they think abortion is their “only option.” No wonder women are shocked to face the physical and emotional repercussions after a supposedly “standard medical procedure.”

I encourage you to reach out to local women in need. Show them they have other options. Tell them the loving truth. But for today, please join us in praying for an end to this tragedy and help us honor the little boys and girls who never got a chance at life.

I leave you with these lyrics honoring one of those innocent lives lost to abortion – Lucy.

Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I’m in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while
I got some things I need to say

Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it’d bring some closure to say your name
I know I’d do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can’t help me make amends

Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today

Here we are
Now you’re in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are
For a brand new start
Living the life that we could’ve had

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I’ll see you in another life
In Heaven where we never say goodbye

Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it’s over
I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today

Here we are, now you’re in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
Got to live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
I’ve gotta live with the choices I’ve made
And I can’t live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remember your name

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfiO_hmwqUE
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/gb/album/awake/326077729
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4VqkhvOP0FkcVrDxgJXtxM?si=QIh02sSZTDKmvMkoECVkMg